About

This is a blog about my personal experience of Asperger Syndrome. I intend to combine my perspective as a woman with Asperger Syndrome together with the theories and research, to describe what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, why certain difficulties arise, and what strategies I find helpful to deal with the particular challenges of Aspergers.

I want it to be useful for other people – for people on the spectrum, and parents of  children on the spectrum, and people who work with people on the spectrum, and also for people in general, as everyone will no doubt meet people on the autistic spectrum at some point. So if you have any questions you’d like to ask, or anything you want me to clarify, please feel free to ask. I will try to answer questions.

One thing that I feel is important to clarify is that everyone on the autistic spectrum is different, so not everyone on the spectrum will share every trait I write about – and even if they do, it won’t necessarily manifest in the same behaviour. Furthermore, certain traits that people on the autistic spectrum have are often shared by people with different conditions. And some traits may be shared to a certain extent by typically-developing people.

It would probably be helpful if I drew a Venn diagram of this, so maybe I will at some point if I can work out how to do it! But the point is that the various thing I write about won’t all apply to everyone with Asperger Syndrome, nor will they be exclusive to people with Asperger Syndrome. The autistic spectrum is complex and it is a spectrum. My blog is the perspective of one person, and is thus best read in conjunction with blogs of many other people on the spectrum. We don’t all conform to one stereotype! While my blog looks at general theories about Aspergers, it is also a blog about me as an individual and how Asperger Syndrome affects me.

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20 Comments

  1. I know I am bothering you again but I forgot to ask you a question. Since I find you so fascinating, would you be offended if I linked your blog occasionally to facebook or to some of my speech therapy colleagues? I find this blog one of the most interesting I have ever read and really would love others to read this as well. I will completely respect your wishes if you do not wish for me to do so. Thank you. debra

  2. Hi!

    Some months ago as an adult I had to face that I propably have Asperger’s. On one hand it’s a great relief for now I know what’s the problem with me, on the other hand I’m a bit scared and am looking for solutions and help to deel with the difficulties. I’m so glad that I found your blog, it is really useful and helpful.

    I have a question. Once you mentioned that you had a lot of food intolerances, and that you often had acute abdominal pains. Could you please write about your diet, what can you eat and what you can’t, when did these intolerances start, how could you or your doctors identify them, was it a long and painful process, what would happen if you ate some of the forbidden food, what kind of symtoms would you have?

    Actually my biggest problem is that I can’t eat any normal foods. Thus socializing is even more difficult for me because I have to bring my own food everywhere and then everybody is so interested and asks questions and I have to explain and talk about myself and I find myself in the center of the company which I just can’t handle and I feel that I want to run away and hide and never again meet anyone if eating is concerned.

    Thank you again for your blog!
    Noemi

    Ps.: Sorry for my “painful” English. I’m Hungarian.

    • Hi Noemi – thanks for your comment. I’m glad you’re finding the blog useful. I will definitely write a blog post sometime about my diet – it’s something I’ve had at the back of my mind to do. Although I’m not sure whether what I write will apply to everyone – I’ve found out about my own food intolerances through trial and error. But I will write about it anyway. And I can definitely identify with socialising being more awkward because of the fact that it involves food. I’m often not so good at being self-disciplined with my diet, but I always feel better when I make myself be self-disciplined.

  3. Thank you so much for writing this blog – so many of the things you have talked about are things that I have felt/experienced and not been able to put into words. I hope you don’t mind, but I am thinking of printing out some of the things you have written to show to my psychologist to help explain some of the specific problems I am having.

    I hope you are planning on a career in writing in some format, you definitely have the ability to contribute something very worthwhile.

  4. Hi, I am part way through an psychological evaluation which seems increasingly likely to be a diagnosis of Aspergers. I am in my mid-30s – same as you when you were diagnosed, I think? … and it seems a bit unbelievable that I’ve got this far into my life before anyone thought to go down this track! … actually – when I started this whole process I was pretty sure that what I had must be ADD – and kind of scoffed at the idea of having Aspergers … because I’m usually pretty good at picking ASDs in other people – how could I not notice if it was inside of me??? … anyway SO MUCH of your post has resonated with me! … my house is a mess, I have washing baskets full of stuff waiting to find their real home! … clothes get taken off the line when I need to wear them, my dishes get washed about every 3 days – when I realise that I have NO CHOICE but to wash some dishes or try to eat my yoghurt with a fork!!! … I notice that you haven’t posted for over 6 months – I hope you still continue to write this blog, I think it may answer some questions – and I may well have some more questions for you as time goes on. Thanks, Jess.

  5. Fantastic blog!!! I actually wonder if I myself have some mild form of Asperger’s. Over the years, I’ve learnt to function pretty well. I was never diagnosed and while I’m curious and wonder whether to get evaluated, I also wonder if there’s any point. After all, my “symptoms” are a lot less now as I’ve learnt to behave more “normally” and cope with the world around me. I was actually directed here by Google because it’s a bad day for me–sensory overload!!! Doesn’t happen often, but today it’s like… I just want to close my eyes so it’s totally dark and be in a quiet cold place. I’m better now after focussing on breathing. Wondering if it’s got anything to do with Asperger’s or is just normal stress haha. Anyway, great blog!

  6. I have found your blog to be fascinating, informative, moving, emotional and comforting, I feel desperate for the child of 7 playing rounders and for every child with Aspergers in a neurotypical world where everyday is a game of rounders. I have a daughter of 15 with an Aspergers diagnosis only 9 months ago, you are helping me to understand my daughter. I am finding that many counsellors, sens and so called specialists have very little understanding of the person behind the label, your blog is invaluable Thank you x

  7. Just wanted to agree with everyone else and salute you for providing your insights. Thank you! The blogs you’ve posted have been a tremendous help–not only in showing me what the world looks like from my son’s point of view (he was diagnosed years ago, but even now, it can be easy to forget sometimes), but also in helping me prepare to navigate the school system for my high-schooler. PLEASE keep writing! I would love to hear about any strategies you’ve found in terms of executive functioning and self-advocacy. Can’t thank you enough for your work to date, and keep up the great work! I eagerly await your posts!

  8. Hi,
    I loved your blog, is so vividly describing how you experience this.

    I\’ve never been \”officially\” diagnosed, but I have the suspicion that I am an Aspie, too. I\’ve been trying to \”rationally\” explain and justify many of the things that made me \”not fit\” over the time, (my need to sleep more, the tiredness I get from being outside my house, my non-existing ability to blend in with people and make social connections, my luck of finding interest in many things such as going out for a beer is just boring and of no value to me, my ability to analyse everything and inability to take decisions if I don\’t know everything in order to analyse a situation etc) but everything falls in place with this.

    However, a question still remains in my head. How do we know that this (or maybe some of these) is not the result of a repressed childhood? Is it just another rationalisation I am trying to make? If you had a difficult time growing up, you will end up with behaviours and fears that could be misinterpreted to be Aspergers…?

  9. Greetings from Alabama, USA. Your blog has been a tremendous blessing to me. Since the tragic shooting in Connecticut, I have found myself studying Asperger’s Syndrome since the term was used in relationship to the shooter. What I read on various sites and blogs shocked me. It was like reading my biography, as though each were penned by me. What I have read on this blog is almost a word picture of my life and me. I am so thankful to find it, because for 52 years I have always known “I was different.”

    As a “newbie,” I do have some questions. I’ve not been “officially diagnosed,” but it could be nothing else. Is there some test or something that can actually confirm I have Asperger’s? Did you grow up in a “normal” home or dysfunctional one? The home in which I grew up could be consider bizarre at best, abusive at worst. I ask, because I wonder how this affects those with Asperger’s. Finally, do you have any religious convictions? I am very involved in my church and have a deep faith, though I am aware that my “faith and spiritual practice” seems to be different from those with whom I fellowship.

    Thanks again for your blog. I’m looking forward to more installments!

    Rob

  10. Your blog is wonderful! i have a teenaged son with Aspergers, anxiety issues and language processing challenges. Your blog is so very helpful, and I, like others, quote you on occasion. Thank you for sharing your story! YOU are wonderful!

  11. I can recognize so much that I read about you here. And I’ll send links to people when I need them to understand something you have explained spot on. The only theme I miss is friendships. Maybe you have written some that I did not discover yet, but what would you say to those friends that are fascinated about you, but not considerate? Some of my friends are so like me that it is not a problem. I have difficulty explaining the friends that drain energy from me exactly what I need. I don’t want to hurt them and sometimes they see me spending time with other people (whom I don’t consider “people”, more like “sensitivity natives”). I wish there was a blog post that explained how spending time with people in certain ways is not as tiresome. Do you ever experience this?

  12. Thanks for sharing. As a mom of a 6-year old living with Aspergers, I am very much interested in learning what I can do to help him have a happy life.
    I liked your fatigue post… My child seems to have a short battery these days…he has been on holidays from school for a month now. At first he was just at home all day, but we are trying to increase his exposure a bit every week. I have noticed that right now the threshold is 1.5 hours of playtime with friends, with a day rest in the middle…I was hoping to hear if your “battery” goes up and down, with regards to the amount of stuff you can do without getting fatigued? Or have you found some kind of baseline? I havd myself had a short battery at periods were I have been stressed over a long time, but I came back to full speed after 6 months of rest. My guess is that its a bit different when Aspergers is involved? I am planning a reintroduction to school for my son, so I have to be very good at explaining teachers about his great needs for rest – its not only 15 minutes here and there, as far as I am gathering…perhaps I need to plan some free days in the weekdays, as you tell from your own experience. My hope is that he learns to take care of his own rest needs and becomes an independent individual, such as yourself. Many hugs, and thanks again for sharing your life and insights with us. You have a positive tone, which I like.

  13. Hi Gail
    I am a Clinical Psychologist by profession and I felt so glad and proud after reading through different sections of your blog. The blog is informative and your voice is felt strongly through every entry. The anecdotes collectively reflect your personal journey. Some of which are lovely like the one about your feelings after a haircut. The writing is awe inspiring as are your reviews on Goodreads. Keep writing as it will be a pleasure and an experience going through your blog!

  14. Hi Thank-you for this I cant seem get my words to work today but here goes my energy blah Im healthy anyway that makes sense I just found out and while relieving I immediately thought how can I fix me now knowing what to fix hence binaural beats gamma rays so on ugh Thank-you

  15. I wrote a blog post based on your #HighFunctioningMeans post and mentioned your post in it… I wanted to get your permission to mention this post before I publish it. Is this okay?

    https://life-of-an-aspie.blogspot.com/b/post-preview?token=sQAPP0wBAAA.HYAYfD63cKaw355nEc7Xag.3-S2Xf_ivg0Ycha1XamkWw&postId=663159966613950576&type=POST

    (if it doesn’t show up, my blog is the Life of an Aspie)

    And thank you for writing on your AS experiences! You’re very insightful.

  16. Hi,
    I’m a writer and I was actually hoping you could help me out. I was hoping that you could perhaps write a post about fictional characters with Aspergers or other developmental disorders in novels or movies and give your opinions, critiques, and anything else. I’ve done some research on my own, but I would love to hear any comments or suggestions for such a character.
    Thank you

  17. Amazing how your words are flawless into making us understand your own self. My suggestion to you is (If I may?) please try to use your outward expressions of yourself; as you are capable in words, as often as possible. I know that it’s not an easy task, since your sensitivity is acute. I love people who aren’t “Normal”. I fell head over heels in love with a special, special person. ❤ As much as he loves me, he needs to have longer gaps than I do. Thus making our relationship a stop & go. Do you have any clues for a person like me?

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